I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
