party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
