thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
