Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
That accounts for only three of the penises
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
