he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
