found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
