chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
