There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
