I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
