there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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