had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
