Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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