dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
