he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
