I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
