even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
