what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
