you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
my sisters under your porch take her home
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
