Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
