Fuck appropriateness.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
