this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
