Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
