just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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