he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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