my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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