I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
