Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
