He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
