I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
