I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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