it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
