i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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