i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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