someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
