HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
