He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
