I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
