it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
