So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
