I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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