My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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