ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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