you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
