Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
