he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she pinky promised me she was 18
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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