How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
