I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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