Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
