In the future we'll all be gay
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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