we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You dont lie about slip and slides
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
