There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
