somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
